Sunday, January 26, 2014


I've never been particularly nostalgic or melancholy when my kids reach milestones. I didn't even come close to crying when Eldest started kindergarten or walking or whatever. I find their growth exciting and I find I usually have to stop myself getting too far ahead of them, to what may come next.

But I'm feeling it today. Youngest is not a baby anymore. He still sleeps with us and nurses (especially overnight for the last week - sheesh!) but this morning he got up with Eldest and (by agreement we all made last night) they watched netflix and Eldest got snacks so my husband and I could both sleep in. What a luxury! 

Maybe my lack of nostalgia before now is really a symptom of just not seeing milestones, not seeing the doors closing on their past ways of being. But today I'm so aware that we're moving on to a new phase of parenting. Which is great and I've been looking forward to this and I feel a smidgen of relief even, to have made it here. 

But I'm also grieving a little that there will be no more babies in my arms -- not one of mine anyways. Ah well. I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough, and then I'll shake my head at the folly of even considering another baby.



  1. As I watched our now-13-year-old youngest son carve out a walkway in the snow for our dog, I realized yet again that we continue to close chapters in his and our life faster than we wish. You've awakened a powerful feeling within me that I need to capture those moments better than I have - because they'll otherwise disappear invisibly into the past. I'm so glad I popped back in great to e-see you, and so great to see you continuing to inspire.

  2. Thanks, Carmi. So nice to hear from you!