I've never been particularly nostalgic or melancholy when my kids reach milestones. I didn't even come close to crying when Eldest started kindergarten or walking or whatever. I find their growth exciting and I find I usually have to stop myself getting too far ahead of them, to what may come next.
But I'm feeling it today. Youngest is not a baby anymore. He still sleeps with us and nurses (especially overnight for the last week - sheesh!) but this morning he got up with Eldest and (by agreement we all made last night) they watched netflix and Eldest got snacks so my husband and I could both sleep in. What a luxury!
Maybe my lack of nostalgia before now is really a symptom of just not seeing milestones, not seeing the doors closing on their past ways of being. But today I'm so aware that we're moving on to a new phase of parenting. Which is great and I've been looking forward to this and I feel a smidgen of relief even, to have made it here.
But I'm also grieving a little that there will be no more babies in my arms -- not one of mine anyways. Ah well. I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough, and then I'll shake my head at the folly of even considering another baby.
As I watched our now-13-year-old youngest son carve out a walkway in the snow for our dog, I realized yet again that we continue to close chapters in his and our life faster than we wish. You've awakened a powerful feeling within me that I need to capture those moments better than I have - because they'll otherwise disappear invisibly into the past. I'm so glad I popped back in today...so great to e-see you, and so great to see you continuing to inspire.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Carmi. So nice to hear from you!
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